Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Suffer me the little spouses

I think I should address Proposition 8, also known as "Really? In 2008?", so here goes. I don't know why so many people are opposed to allowing us gay people suffer in marriage. We should have the same right as straight people to have our estranged spouses deliver the home and vehicle, per court order, by ramming the goddamn pickup into the side of our single wide trailer yelling 'here ya go' in a drunken slur then stumbling off. We should have wedding rings to lose in sleazy hotels with hookers just like straight folks, and be cornered at family reunions by aunt-in-laws who want to share the details of their operations, and drive to some godforsaken shithole in bumfuck for Thanksgiving because dammit, "we went to your family's godforsaken shithole last year, Charlie" and all the other stuff that comes with marriage.

Ultimately, I think this is what we get for a serious lack of literacy. The argument most Americans have against gay marriage is religiously based, which it wouldn't be if people could fucking read. Heads up, folks: the dude who stars in your religion didn't have anything to say about us. Yeah. That shit you keep quoting was some tax collector I highly suspect was butt fucked by a Greek when he was 10 and never got over it. The Leviticus argument doesn't wash either, unless you want to stop eating bacon and cheeseburgers, raise sheeps to kill on altars and stone adultresses to death. Here's the deal - if you're going to beat the shit out of a bunch of people with some 2000 year old Arabic social rules, have some integrity about it. Read up and get to herding some oxens for sacrifices. Just leave me the fuck alone; I'm not interested in wandering around in the desert with you. I've got a new Xbox and that's way more fun.

So anyway, really, what is the problem? Let us risk our retirement accounts, get cleaned out by shady divorce lawyers, raise brats who hate us, insist the ugly new dress looks great, and find out the life insurance policy was cashed out last year and spent on some slut like the rest of you. Pain shared is pain lessened. Share yours with us.

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