Sunday, November 23, 2008

Here's to not being brain damaged!

It is almost Thanksgiving. I have lots of things to be grateful about. For instance, I'm not brain damaged. Yesterday I told my acupunturist about our new office help and she said the girl is probably brain damaged. Apparently, this can cause people to be impulsive and not pick up on social cues - i.e. doing things like inturrupting an attorney getting ready for court to show them a 5'7" of your teenage spawn completely unsolicited. My acupuncturist suggested I work a question into the conversation as to whether the girl had ever been unconscious. I explained there really isn't any conversation. Allow me to demostrate why. This is an actual exchange in our office, as reported by my office manager.

Weird temp: I'm really particular about body odor.
Office manager: Uh huh. I wouldn't want to smell bad.
Weird temp: I'm really particular about it though.
Office manager: Uh huh.
Weird temp: I'm so particular, I use deodorant on my butt.
Office manager: What?
Weird temp: You know how your butt can sweat? I wouldn't want it to smell bad. So I use deodorant on my butt.
Office manager (regrettably, she takes the bait): How do you tell the difference between that deodorant and your regular one?
Weird temp: Oh, I have it labeled in my bathroom as "butt stick."

OK - first, who puts deodorant on their butt? Secondly, who tells people about it? Specifically, who tells a busy office manager at their temporary job? My next question - how does she explain 'butt stick' to her children? Do they think this is normal? Will her kids go to school and talk about butt stick to other kids and find out this is not normal and become known as "butt stick"? This is not entirely unreasonable, as I have begun to refer to weird temp as 'butt stick'.

Sigh. Five more weeks. You will enjoy this more than I will.


Dawg said...



damn that made me laugh out loud at work ...

Jude said...

buttstick California the parents are worried that their kids are going to learn gay marriage in school...that should be the least of their worries.