Thursday, November 6, 2008

Solid as Barack

*Sniff*. I admit it. I cried for joy when the election results were announced; I was, and am, so proud of us - by us, I mean 1/4 of the country, since only half of us got off the couch and voted, and only half of them didn't vote for Yosemite Sam. However, 25% of us elected the most inspirational person of my lifetime and I couldn't be happier.

I wonder, though, if our expectations might be too high. It's easy to do, when Obama gives you the impression he could part the clouds and that angels follow him about, singing hymns of unity. It's easy, with a guy like that, to expect more than is reasonable from him; therefore, I thought I'd check in with my readers and see if my expectations are, perhaps, a tad unrealistic. OK, here they are, let me know.

1. World peace

2.Mega millionares will only accept a living wage, then donate the rest of their salaries to Santa. Or breast cancer research or, you know, something.

3. Barack will light the rainy days with his smile, except over fields and flowers, which will grow and bloom under gentle storms as if touched by God.

4. Hip hop artists will stop rappin'about slappin' hos. They will start a new trend: mad lyrics about health care reform and why one's underwear should be a mystery. The belt industry will boom.

5. Barack will visit Arizona, ask it to cool down, and a sweet breeze will begin to blow. He will smile at Maine and the snow will melt, creating a fresh water source for the east coast.

6. Citizens of the world will gather, hold hands and, in unison and perfect harmony, sing "Kumbaya."

7. Kittens and puppies for everyone.

8. Everyone will be doing so well they'll stop using drugs and stealin shit, which will put me out of work, but I won't even be mad about it.

9. Detroit will develop cars that run on sunshine and buttercups.

10. The Shiites and Sunnis will hold a joint bake sale to rebuild the country, forgive the invasion and send our troops home with cookies.

So, these are my expectations; feel free to share your own.

Hopefully yours,

The Legal Bandit

1 comment:

Butch Boo said...

and Coronation Street will be on every night and my leathers will fir better and I the puppy I will be given will be able to ride with me on my motorbike!