Wednesday, October 15, 2008

McJumpy Bean Loses

And now, the final debate. Perhaps I am being too harsh on John McCain. There might have been something wrong with his pacemaker. His cyborg insides might have had a few shorts.Maybe he had a live wire up his ass to keep him awake, I don't know. However, the end result is that he looked like a zombie with a manic blink reflex and absolutely no ability to control himself. Ask yourself - is that who you want in tense negotiations with North Korea? A guy with a creepy grin who interrupts, smirks, writhes in his seat and has the composure of a bipolar 9 year old?

"Well, Mr. President, it is important to our country . . . um, are you OK?"
"Yes, yes." (blink blink blink blink blink)
"Well, we feel that the United States should take a greater role. . . "
"Mr. President, it seems you do not take our country seriously. I need to impress upon you..."
(Interrupting) "I have experience! I can lead this country! I am the only one who knows what to do!" (Pointing and writhing in his seat)
"Well, with all due deference, Mr. President. . . "
(Smirking, making secret grocery list with big pencil)
"This conversation is over."
"I win!"

And I'll say it: what was with the big ass sharpie he had for notes? OK, call me elitist, but I want a president who shows up to Geneva with a nice pen, not a goddamn crayon.

I also hoped for a leader who could remember things that were just said to him. I paraphrase:

Obama: "95% of all Americans will not pay one penny more in taxes under my plan. I will eliminate tax breaks to big oil companies and spend the money on social programs. Every dollar I spend is offset by cuts in other areas, not funded by taxes."

McCan't: "He's raising taxes! He's proposing new spending to be paid for with raised taxes!" (Insert poorly concealed apoplectic rage and jumpiness here.)

Oh, here's a tip: stand next to your wife. Your crazy old ass got some rich sort of hottie, though she looks a robot Stepford wife, but you're supposed to be fucking her. Scoot in, man. That 2 feet of distance makes it look like you can't even get love in your own damn home and wouldn't know what to do if you did.

The sad thing is people buy this load of crap. But maybe a lot of people can't remember what was just said to them, either. Which,if any of them are reading my posts, is probably a good thing.

2 comments: said...

Thank god someone else thought he was crotchety!

So many people said to me he was better in this debate.

All I saw was a pissy old coot.

Melissa said...

I'm so glad your blog is back! I love it.