Sunday, March 29, 2009

Inside the mind

I have a nasty trial coming up. I've done lots of trials down in district court, but this is my first jury trial, and true to my pattern of jumping right the hell into anything I do, the guy is facing decades in prison, the prosecutor is known for being underhanded, slimy and sneaky and the judge is notorious for being completely unfair and biased toward the prosecution, which he gets away with because people never have the money to appeal. I understand that my feelings and thoughts right now are pretty normal. So, I thought I'd share with you what's going through your lawyer's head the week before a big jury trial.

"Oh, crap! Well, I guess that bitch is showing up. Maybe she'll smoke too much crack and not make it. No, I won't get that lucky. Hell, my guy won't get that lucky; if he were lucky he wouldn't be here. Ok, Ok, I got this. No I don't. What the hell? We should have taken that plea. No, dammit, he didn't do this. And he wants a trial. What if we lose? I can't think that way. So, what kind of underhanded shit is Asshole D.A. going to pull? I just need to be ready for it. Surely the jury will see he's just being a dick. What if the jury is full of dicks? You never know about people and it's such a crap shoot. That's OK. I got this. I got this. What have I gotten myself into? Too late, got to get my game on here. Shit shit suddenly I can't remember a single rule of evidence. OK, I'm going to list all the hearsay exceptions. . . .this is a waste of time. I got to get ready. Hey, look! One of their cops got fired and moved to Florida! Oh, hell, wait - this is the one who shows that chick was telling conflicting stories. Wow, my paralegal's brother had some good ideas. Shit, he came up with things I missed and he's not even a lawyer! I am so going to tank this. No, I'm going to win it because I'm talking to people and getting ideas. It's going to be OK. Yeah. Fuck them. We got this. That cracked out 'ho isn't beleivable and the jury will certainly see that. She ain't shit. Fuck them. The cops didn't even know her stories conficted. Well, my guy's story isn't that believable, either. Just focus on her, just focus on her . . . "


and that's a day in the life. Why did I go to law school again?

5 comments:

Dawg said...

I volunteer my mafia bitches to take out the prosecutor and judge :)

Anne O'Nymous said...

You went to law school to give people a chance who would otherwise not have one.

One of my cranky kids told me a few weeks ago "you can't save everyone," and I almost cried. No, I can't, but I'm not going to let them go down the shitter without them knowing that I tried and that I thought they were worth something different, even if they didn't believe it.

I'm not the first chance they have ever been given, and for most, I won't be the last. I do what I can.

Anne O'Nymous said...

I do what I can, and I cry and get frustrated and read some of their names in horrible places in the newspaper and I do what I can and I get pissed off and have far too few far too brief moments of hope and I see their names in the headlines and I go back to work anyway.

I'm either dedicated or a fuckin' halfwit, one.

Anne O'Nymous said...

I read this in today's heraldsun.com crime log aand thought of you. "Firearms, ammunition, G-string underwear and pork skins were among items stolen in recent thefts, according to police reports."

They were not all at the same place. More's the pity.

The G-string underwear was worth $20. That's going to be one or two strings at most, right? How does the person know it's been stolen? That's less than a quarter-yard of cloth. Hell, it could have fallen between the sofa cushions or used as a bookmark.

"Did you look in the Mustang repair manual? Weren't you reading the Bible the other day? How 'bout the _Betty Crocker Workin' Gal Cookbook_?"

Disability Insurance said...

I think having confidence in your abilities will go a long way. Remember that its a jury trail so you shouldn't let the judge affect you too much, you have to make sure that you influence the jury and earn the proper decision.