Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I got nominated?

So I'm pretty pleased that my list of rants here, otherwise known as a blog, has been nominated for a lezzy award at thelesbianlifestyle.com. Get your lazy ass there and throw in a nomination. Maybe I win something. I'm not sure what one would win, though. A dildo shaped pen? A signed picture of Cat Cora? Some wrenches? Tickets to a women's basketball game? Mmmmm, Cat Cora.

Apparently, I've been nominated in the best feminism and political blog category. This confused me a little since I would have expected it to be in the humor category, but I suspect, deep down, that I'm not nearly as funny as I think.

I suppose it now behooves me to talk about the lesbian lifestyle or something political or feminist now. Um, OK. More dykes should run for office. That's political, right?

Um, the lifestyle part is going to be more problematic. I'm not really sure what the lesbian lifestyle is. I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of pets and comfortable shoes. I have a girlfriend and a few lesbian friends. Our houses, incomes and bras look nothing like the "L Word." Neither do any of us. I don't really follow sports but did watch the superbowl. That guy with the ball ran really far! That other guy with the ball did pretty good too. I wore a turtleneck with my suit the other day. It looked soooooo gay. At least that's what neighbor dyke bandit said. Is that a lifestyle?

Truth be known, I'm not so sure I even have a life. Saturday night I played video games while girlfriend bandit painted shelves. Then we ate some broccoli and mashed potatoes. Neither of us drink or go to the bar. We are usually in bed with books at 10:30. I listen to loud hip hop on the way to work but can't rap. I know how to play guitar but don't. Is this a life? Does it have style? Do I have style? Probably not. I'm a lesbian. We like comfortable shoes.

I am happy and flattered, though. Now go fucking vote, you freeloading reader. Earn your political feminism lesbian blog reading keep.

1 comment:

Anne O'Nymous said...

Congratulations on your nomination!

As someone who has been thought at times to be living a "lesbian lifestyle," even though I suffer from the same concern about whether my existence = a life and even though I am straight, for all the damned good it does me, allow me to point out a few other things that qualify you.

1. Cats. You have shitloads.
2. Cats with different abilities. Sadly, none have the ability to winterize the vehicles or check the tire pressure while you and Girlfriend Bandit are earning the Big Bags o' Li'l Friskies, or whatever you feed 'em. If you prefer the phrase "Cats with special needs," the phrase does does not refer to the Oft-Oblivious Orange One's need to be an only child, or the Matriarch's need for total world domination.
3. A higher-than-average percentage of acoustic guitar music, many with female vocalists, many of whom are altos, most wearing little or no Spandex.
4. Hippie food.
5. ACLU sticker, anti-war and other lefty signs.
6. You grow plants, and none of them are of the frou-frou variety, nor are they of the "Don't show the Feds" variety. You intend to eat many of them.
7. Birkenstocks, Crocs, and
Earth shoes.
8. Annual Sears receipt totals for Craftsman tools is greater than the Sears receipt totals for pantyhose (at least until you graduated law school).
9. Books about Buddhism, yoga, vegetarian cooking, etc.
10. You and Girlfriend Bandit laugh like people, speak in polysyllables, and you, baby girl, can't apply nail polish for shit.

Case closed. It's a life, it's got style, and it swims like a duck.

My verification word is "towshila," a portmanteau, perhaps, of "towanda," "shit," and "Godzilla"? I may have to remember that word for class control purposes.